Okay, now to one of the darker aspects of sexuality: cheating. We all know of someone that has cheated on a spouse or loved one, or we may be the cheater or cheated. Naturally, one of the first questions asked is "Why?" Affairs tear families apart and can permanently destroy a person's sense of trust. So why would a person do it? As said before, Mother Nature is a bitch and she made us in her own selfish image.
There are psychological reasons that people cheat. Women may feel lonely if their husband is inattentive. It may seem strange that a woman would feel alone if her husband is nearby, but being emotionally available is important. Women have other reasons: boredom in a stale relationship, revenge if she feels wronged and low self esteem if she thinks her husband doesnt want her.
Men's reasons are often more physical but many times are similar to women's reasons. As said, there are the physical reasons, like he just isnt getting enough sex at home. He may want to know if he is still attractive to other women and if he's "still got it." His wife may have lost her attractiveness or fun personality. Younger women may have that spark that his wife has lost. Other times they want revenge or some excitement. Many are just arrogant and feel they deserve to cheat.
Former Presidential candidate John Edwards is an example of several of these reasons. His wife was older, dying of cancer and past child bearing, so he found a younger woman that was able to carry his child. None of this was conscious, of course. The mind is not always aware of what the body wants. Edwards rationalized his affair by explaining that he grew up poor and rose to greatness with his talents. He felt invincible, special and entitled. Thats no excuse, but its what he went with.
But this is a biology and evolution blog. The biological theories behind extramarital affairs (or "extra pair copulations" in the technical term) are controversial and cause a lot of bitching and moaning from both men's and women's sides. Again, its all about getting pregnant. Women can find "sperm donars" anywhere and everywhere. Usually, they get offers when they dont want any.
Thats the problem. How does a woman choose between two possible fathers for their children? They get sperm from both of them. The sperm that fertilizes her egg tends to come from "the better man." A rich man may have money, but not be attentive and caring, always focused on his job. Another man may be more warm and caring but less wealthy. In fact, many times its the sperm of the lover that ends up impregnanting the woman. One study suggests that 10% of children of married couples come from another man. Female orgasm may help the sperm of another man reach her egg before that of her husbands.
A camera was placed onto the penis of a man as he had sex with a woman. At orgasm, the camera filmed the woman's cervix dipping into the seminal pool, possibly helping the sperm into the uterus faster. This is not as definite a finding as you might expect. It was only filmed once, in one couple. It would have to be filmed many times in many other couples to be sure.
Men have ways of getting around this strategy. Of the hundreds of millions of sperm that they ejaculate (sometimes up to 600 million), only 1% are meant to fertilize an egg, according to Robin Baker. While the "fertilizer sperm" swim towards the egg, the "blocker sperm" stay in the cervix and keep the sperm of other men from entering the uterus. These are the sperm that were previously thought to be merely deformed and useless. Baker suggests that the "sperm wars" can tilt the odds in favor of a woman's lover by 9:1 if she sleeps with her lover before her husband.
Baker, Robin. Sperm Wars: The Science of Sex. Great Britain: HarperCollins, 1996.
http://www.yourtango.com/20086333/narcissism-made-me-do-it.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Do-Women-Cheat-On-Partners?&id=239761
http://www.cheatingways.com/why-do-we-cheat/top-10-reasons-why-men-cheat/
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